My Dating Relationship Advice

There’s a question that comes up in most relationships that can either be dynamite or disastrous. That question is regarding past sexual partners. It typically comes out in the form of: “Baby, how many people have you had sex with before me?” For most men, women expect the answer to somewhat large. Now, your guy may not have slept with a number of women that compares to someone like Gene Simmons, but you probably figure it’s going to be in at least two to three digits. The thing is, if you asked the question, you need to be prepared to accept the answer without judging him.

The same is true for men that ask their women this question. While, these days, they won’t expect you to have been a virgin by the time they got you, they might not be ready for any number that comes out of your mouth. What this means is that if you’ve got enough notches on your bedpost to put together several baseball teams, you probably want to tone it down a bit or risk being called names that you won’t appreciate.

People may simply be better off not even asking this question. While it’s not as bad as the question of “Were any of them better than me?” or variations of that question, it still may be somewhat risky to ask it or answer it. That’s why you really want to think long and hard about whether or not you truly WANT to know the answer, or if you can HANDLE the answer. This is definitely not the best question for couples in fragile relationships to EVER broach. They shouldn’t even HINT at this question.

Now, there are couples that lead a somewhat kinky lifestyle where the answer to this question would simply spice up their sex life. Many men enjoy the thought of their wives or girlfriends having sex with another man, and many women also like that same fantasy. So for these couples, this question is a perfect one. In fact, if the list isn’t quite long enough, it may be necessary to embellish it just a bit so that the other partner can really get a charge from imagining all of the people on that list having sex with that partner.

Sometimes there’s the nasty surprise that a few men are still living in the past where the women were expected to be virginal until the marriage bed while it was perfectly acceptable for the men to go out and sow some wild oats. If you think there’s even a slim possibility that your man has that type of genetic makeup, either refuse to have the conversation with him or tone down the number of sexual partners you’ve had. Although, in a case such as this, he’s probably not going to be crazy about any number other than one man before him.
This question is just not a great one no matter how it goes. It’s just not a good idea to start a relationship with a lie, and this question can many times force that very thing to happen.